World Cup Victory Marred by Stanley House Vandal

While MegaDob was crossing the line first by a massive 9 second margin at the chainless mountain bike downhill world cup, a delinquent was causing upset back at base. This is the first scandal of this nature since we've moved into Stanley House - flower pots smashed, the spring veg nursery flipped over, and items stolen from one of the second floor flats.

A decision has been reached - the pictures of the crime scene will not be published. The images are far too graphic in nature and we fear the perpetrator might locate the images, circulating them as trophies. No one needs to see the wee roots of a fledgling spring onion in tatters, or the bright green shoots of peas and beans, shredded by broken terracotta.

Savvy wept upon waking to the tragedy: "They ruined my flowers. My purple flowers."

She continued: "I hope the police catch the bad man and put him in the bin."