Classy Humour

Poo jokes are still a big part of our dinner table chat. (Does it ever end?)

These poo jokes were circling a while back (thanks Uncle K) and we had to capture them here.

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Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary?

It runs in your genes.

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I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday.

Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever.

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Have you seen that new movie Constipated?

It's not come out yet.

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And have you seen the sequel, Diarrhea?

It leaked so they had to release it early.

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People who tell you that they're constipated are full of crap.

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Laughter is the best medicine.

Unless you have diarrhea...

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Did you hear about the constipated composer?

He had problems with his last movement.

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A man was sitting at a bar one day when a pirate walked in. The pirate had a wooden leg, a hook for one hand, and a patch over one eye.

Feeling sorry for the pirate, the man said, "Come over here, my friend. You look as though you've had a tough life and I'd like to buy you a drink."

The pirate gladly went over to the man who ordered him a rum.

Then the man asked the pirate, "I'm curious, how did you lose your leg?"

"Arrrgh!" said the pirate, "I lost that timber to a tiger shark in the Caribbean when I was thrown overboard for stealing a man's rum."

"Wow, that's awful!" said the man. "And tell me, how did you lose your hand?"

"Arrrgh!" replied the pirate, "I lost that fighting cannibals on a treasure island."

"Oh my word!" the man said, "How awful! And tell me, how did you lose your eye?"

The pirate said, "Arrrgh! A seagull pooped in it!"

"A seagull!" The man was surprised. He asked, "Is seagull poop dangerous?!"

The pirate said, "Nay, matey, it was me first day with the hook."

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Do clown farts smell funny?

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A little boy is walking down the country road one day when he comes across a man who has a truck load of cow manure.

The boy asks him what he's going to do with all that cow poop.

The man says, "I'm taking it home to put on my strawberries."

The little boy looks up at the man and says, "I don't know where you come from, but where I come from we put cream and sugar on our strawberries."

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Did you hear about the constipated accountant?

He couldn't budget.....   

(last one perhaps the best considering Uncle K is an accountant!)